Okay, here’s a sarcastic blog post, stripped down to the essentials:
**The Eloise-ian Dream: A Lament for a Global Event Planner**
So, you’ve finally made it to Lambertville, New Jersey, and you’ve landed in a hotel so opulent, it practically screams “Eloise-ian fantasy.” The plumbing is a testament to your refined palate, the Wi-Fi is legendary, and the view from the top is simply breathtaking. But let’s be honest, the reality is…complicated.
Michelle Rago, the Eloise-ian dream come true, has finally arrived. And it’s a luxurious, albeit somewhat…over-the-top, experience. I’m not kidding.
The hotel, Claridge’s, is a veritable palace of modern elegance. The floors are marble, the decor is impeccably minimalist, and the views are endless. It’s like stepping into a Hollywood movie set, but with a distinctly American flair.
I’m not so sure about the bathtub! Oh, the bathtub! It’s a glorious, albeit slightly claustrophobic, disaster. And the staff…well, let’s just say they’re a bit…eccentric.
While the ambiance is undeniably exquisite, the food is… well, let’s just say it’s a bit more of a culinary experience than I’d anticipated. The roasted chicken is dry and bland, and the lobster bisque was a disaster.
The views, while stunning, are also a bit…forgettable. The vistas of the coast are gorgeous, but the scenery is just a bit too…distant.
The whole experience is a little too… polished. It feels like I’m just trying to get a glimpse of a movie set, but the reality is far more…beige.
Honestly, I’m starting to think this is a bit of a culinary faux pas. I’m so tired of the beige.
So, what are you waiting for? Go to Lambertville and experience the Eloise-ian dream. But be prepared for a few bumps in the road. And maybe a little bit of…flamboyant charm.
Don’t pretend you’ve never had an Eloise-ian fantasy—living in a Plaza-like hotel, surrounded by the finest amenities, basking in a life of effortless luxury. (Minus, of course, the bathtub overflows and staff harassment.) That’s more or less what global event planner Michelle Rago had in mind when decamping from her Manhattan apartment of 30 years to her dream home in Lambertville, New Jersey. Rago, who’s constantly on the move for work—London, Cabo, and Brazil are next on her itinerary—says, “I’ve grown up in luxury hotels.”
Fittingly, her introduction to the designer for this project came during a stay at her “favorite hotel in the world,” Claridge’s. “I was getting a tour from the woman who is the maître d’, and I said, ‘I love that chair. I love this bar.’ And by the fifth time, she said, ‘So you love Bryan O’Sullivan.’”
So she enlisted the designer to take on her 1924 Craftsman, which was originally a Sears and Roebuck mail-order kit home. “Michelle wasn’t afraid, and she was very decisive,” says O’Sullivan, which allowed the team to make flamboyant design choices while still maintaining the house’s historical integrity.
Bryan O’Sullivan, whose CV includes Claridge’s and The Connaught in London as well as the restaurant at the recently reopened Frick Collection in NYC, was the perfect designer for event planner Michelle Rago, whose life is focused on entertaining.
Don’t pretend you’ve never had an Eloise-ian fantasy—living in a Plaza-like hotel, surrounded by the finest amenities, basking in a life of effortless luxury. (Minus, of course, the bathtub overflows and staff harassment.) That’s more or less what global event planner Michelle Rago had in mind when decamping from her Manhattan apartment of 30 years to her dream home in Lambertville, New Jersey. Rago, who’s constantly on the move for work—London, Cabo, and Brazil are next on her itinerary—says, “I’ve grown up in luxury hotels.”
Fittingly, her introduction to the designer for this project came during a stay at her “favorite hotel in the world,” Claridge’s. “I was getting a tour from the woman who is the maître d’, and I said, ‘I love that chair. I love this bar.’ And by the fifth time, she said, ‘So you love Bryan O’Sullivan.’”
So she enlisted the designer to take on her 1924 Craftsman, which was originally a Sears and Roebuck mail-order kit home. “Michelle wasn’t afraid, and she was very decisive,” says O’Sullivan, which allowed the team to make flamboyant design choices while still maintaining the house’s historical integrity.
